Daria in the Background - Part 7

 Mega Mall Tribulations

Lawndale High October 28^th, 10:24 AM

“In Economics, we call this flow,” Mrs. Diane Bennett said. “We have a scenario of supply and demand, where a new demand is created by a previous supply. Does everyone follow?” She paused, waiting for the class to answer. “Can anyone give me a concrete representation of this abstract theory?” She paused, again before calling on the new student, “Daria.”

 

 

‘Why is she calling on me?’ Daria wondered. She sighed and said. “Concrete? Then I’ll go with the mall, the repository of greed in today’s consumerist culture.”

 

“Very good, Daria. The mall is a very beautiful illustration of all these economic principles. In fact, it would make for an excellent field trip,” Mrs. Bennett said.

 

‘Field trip!’ Daria thought with slight panic.

 

“All right! Field trip!” Kevin said. He leaned over to Daria. “Where are we going, man?”

Daria looked down and didn’t answer the quarterback.

 

“Daria?” Kevin asked.

 

“We'll visit that brand new Mall of the Millennium. It's a perfect emblem of a modern day economic structure.”

 

Daria shook her head. She didn’t like that idea at all. She had enough trouble with a normal mall when she had to go to one.

 

“What’s wrong, Daria? It’s your idea, and it’s perfect,” Mrs. Bennet.

 

“I second Daria,” Jodie Landon said. “The mall can be dangerous influence on today's teens, and the crowds can be intimidating to those who are introverts.”

 

“We'll take a vote. All in favor of a class trip to the mall next Friday instead of our usual surprise quiz?”

 

Most of the class raised their hands.

 

“Those opposed,” Bennett asked.

 

Daria, Jodie and a girl wearing a paint splattered red sweater raised their hands.

 

“This is great! Kevin and I love going to the mall during school,” Brittany said.

 

Mrs. Bennett frowned.

 

“I mean, between classes. I mean... what do I mean, babe?” Brittany added.

 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Bennet,” Daria said. “I can’t go to the Mall. I get anxious around large groups of people.”

 

“But you’re with a large group of people right now.”

 

“And I’m anxious every morning when I see the crowd in front of the school.”

 

 

A Lawndale High Bus on State Route 30, 4 to 5 miles out of Lawndale, October 26, 9:32 AM

Daria was already queasy. Brittany had noticed and was trying to comfort her. “Thanks Brittany.”

 

“I remember what happened at the party,” Brittany said.

 

“It’s not that this time. I’m carsick.”

 

“Ooh!” Brittany responded. “But you can come to me for help if it happens again.”

 

“Thanks, Brittany.”

 

 

 

Mall of the Millennium Parking Lot, 11:18 AM

Daria wasn’t sure why they had to take another method of public transportation to get into the Mall of the Millennium. After that rather bumpy bus ride, she was quite nauseous. She threw up as the tram started moving. “Welcome to the Mall of the Millennium,” Brittany said, while rubbing her back.

 

Daria thanked Brittany again, but the cheerleader was distracted as Kevin did something stupid. She sighed.

 

 

Somewhere in the Mall of the Millennium, 11:33 AM

“Everyone, we'll walk down R Moss, and turn right at Q Canary. Please keep the flow, people, please keep the flow,” Mrs. Bennet said as she tried to direct the class.

 

“Look, Mack Daddy! The Sports Shorts! A whole store full of shorts for sports!” Kevin said.

 

“Uh-huh,” Mack said, too tired from the bus trip to rebut the use of that nickname.

 

“Everyone, we'll walk down R Moss, and turn right at Q Canary. Please keep the flow, people, please keep the flow,” Mrs. Bennett said.

 

“Who would ever guess there'd be so many colors? The person who thought them all up must be a genius,” Brittany said.

 

“Yeah, and we haven’t even got to puke green yet,” Jane Lane said.

 

Daria glared at the artist briefly from where she stood behind Brittany, before turning away.

 

“Left at N Cranberry,” Mrs. Bennett said. She was concerned. “Wait, is that cranberry or magenta? Jane, you're an artist.”

 

“It’s Cranapple,” Jane supplied.

 

“Mrs. B? Can we please stop for a minute at Bikini Island? I'd like to buy a few trifles for the ladies, and perhaps you'd care to pick out something for yourself?” Charles Ruttheimer asked.

 

“Not now, Charles!” the teacher admonished. “We'll be late for our meeting with the mall executives. I had to work very hard to arrange this. These are very important, very busy...” She was then distracted as she noticed… “Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits!” She then went on about how she and her husband were avid collectors of Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits!

 

‘Of course!’ Daria thought. Maybe now they had to deal with rather annoyed Mall executives.

 

 

However, Mrs. Bennett snapped out of her reverie and they were soon on their way.

 

 

Daria was certain of one thing. They were being used. Mrs. Bennett had signed up the class as unwitting pawns in market research.

 

 

“And of course, when you go to the mall, you look for what?” one of the executives asked.

 

“Bikinis! Make that lovely, luscious, ladies in bikinis!” Charles proclaimed.

 

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed.

 

Brittany elbowed him in his back.

 

“Ow!”

 

“Feisty!”

 

“I always look for security guards leading away someone in handcuffs. Shoplifters are the best judges of merchandise,” Jane said.

 

‘Was that cynicism?’ Daria wondered.

 

“I meant more along the line of the qualities you look for? The stores? What should they be like?” another of the executives asked.

 

Daria saw that Brittany wasn’t paying attention, but was examining herself in the mirror. ‘I bet that’s a two way,’ she thought, hoping that the helpful cheerleader wasn’t being ogled.

 

“What?” the first executive asked upon seeing this.

 

“What?” Brittany asked, after hearing the executive.

 

“I have a question,” Jodie said. “Do you think our demographic can really be addressed by middle-aged middle managers telling us what's fun to buy?”

 

The executives were then at a loss for words. One of them turned to Daria. “How about you? How many times a year do you go to the mall?”

 

“Not often,” she answered before she ducked behind Brittany.

 

Brittany turned and whispered in her ear. “Did you want to say something else?”

 

Daria got out a notebook and wrote something quickly. She handed the sheet to Brittany, and backed off.

 

“Sure,” Brittany said as she twirled her hair. She turned back to the executive. “Don't people usually get paid for participating in market research?”

 

“Research?” the executive asked in a strangled voice.

 

 

Daria did have a point, Brittany considered after she had read her written question.

 

“Now, Brittany, these busy executives have been nice enough to give their time to help educate us on mall economics,” Mrs. Bennett said. “Tell us about flow, would you?” she asked one of the executives.

 

“OK,” one of the other executives said. He began talking about flow, in words more obtuse than Mrs. Bennett used.

 

 

As the executive talked on, Jodie realised that Daria (given that she had seen her give Brittany a piece of paper) was right. She then went over to switch the light off. There was a collective gasp from the class.

 

“The focus group is, um, a very important tool in mall management. We thought that with this live demonstration...” one of the executives fumbled.

 

“I feel used. I feel abused. I feel that this is not a fun mall after all and the media should be made aware of it,” Jodie said.

 

“All right, little lady,” the first executive said, taking something out of his pocket. “Here's a coupon for a free frozen yogurt.”

 

“Don’t insult me!”

 

The executive took out something else. “Make it a ten-dollar merchandise coupon?”

 

“You're still insulting her,” Jane spoke up.

 

“Make it a twenty dollar coupon for everyone in the class.”

 

‘That will do,’ Jodie thought. She didn’t want to rock the boat too much. Daria looked disappointed but took her coupon without a verbal complaint.

 

 

The class was soon out in a corridor again. They looked at the coupons they had been given.

 

“Books by the Ton. ‘The country’s biggest bookstore’? Oh Man!” Kevin complained.

 

“The Sports Shorts?” Upchuck asked.

 

“Aw man!” Kevin complained again.

 

“Scissor Wizard,” Jane considered. “I can actually use a new pair of scissors.”

 

Daria looked at the coupon she got. “Cuter Computer. I suppose I could get a game or two.”

 

“Doo Dad?” Brittany asked. “What’s that?”

 

Mrs. Bennet gave out assignments to the students. “Daria and Andrea, you’ll observe traffic patterns at the food concessions, and Kevin and Brittany, you will study and report back on shrinkage.”

 

“What’s shrinkage?” Kevin asked.

 

“Shrinkage is the retailing term for shoplifting. I'd like you to analyze its economic impact. Does everyone else understand their assignments?”

 

She reminded them to meet back at that area at 2:45. After some confusion caused by Kevin ineffectually coming up with a mnemonic device she implored the class to write it down.

 

 

Andrea looked at Daria as the class scattered. “Traffic patterns at the food concessions. Sounds good,” she said.

 

“Let’s go,” Daria murmured.

 

The two of the then walked along awkwardly. ‘It’s like she doesn’t want to get to know me,’ Andrea thought. She wasn’t sure what to make of that.

 

 

Elsewhere. Daria’s sister, Quinn and her friends had skipped school, and were looking for ‘unfashionable’ people to make over.

 

Stacy Rowe noticed a couple of girls who’d be perfect.

 

“Wow, you’re right. They need help,” Tiffany Blum-Deckler responded.

 

“Especially the one on the left. She really needs volumizer. And maybe some subtle streaks,” Quinn said.

 

“And a little skort set,” Sandi Griffin added. “Have you seen the new skorts? Really cute.”

 

“Is it a skirt or is it shorts? I love that,” Stacy said.

 

“I wonder if they make skorts for sports!” Tiffany said.

 

Quinn tapped one of the girls on her shoulder. She turned around. “Ah!” Quinn let out. It was Daria.

 

 

“Good to see you, too,” Daria murmured upon seeing Quinn. “Well. What an unexpected opportunity for sibling bonding.”

 

“I’m going to be sick,” Quinn said.

 

“Is that a family thing?” Andrea asked.

 

 

Quinn turned back to the her friends “Just one sec, guys. I'm interviewing our first makeover candidate.”

 

She turned back to the Daria and the Goth girl. “I’m sure your parents would have something to say about this,” the latter said.

 

“You wouldn’t!” Quinn said to Daria.

 

“I would!” Daria said. “But I won’t if you do most of my chores for the next month.”

 

“A month?” Quinn asked.

 

“Maybe some of her allowance,” Andrea suggested.

 

“I don’t need it. Besides a ride home would be better than taking the bus back,” Daria said to Andrea.

 

Andrea nodded. “I saw Brittany helping you earlier.”

 

There was something about the way she said the cheerleader’s name, but Daria decided that it was definitely not her business.

 

“Why should I?” Quinn asked.

 

“Otherwise you wouldn’t spend any time in a mall for the rest of your sorry adolescent life?” Daria responded.

 

“Fine! Meet us in an hour on level five, area D, section Lavender.”

 

“D Lavender Five,” Daria said as she wrote it down.

 

 

“Time for lunch?”  Andrea asked as the Fashion Club walked away,

 

“Yes. I’m rather sure I puked up breakfast,” Daria considered. “I’ll need a favor,” she murmured.

 

“I’ll tell Mrs. Bennett what you’re doing.”

 

“Not only her.”

 

“I’m not talking to Brittany!” Andrea said.  ‘No way!’ she thought. It would be too awkward. It still hurt that they had drifted apart as friends.

 

“You don’t have to tell her directly,” Daria suggested.

 

“I guess so,” Andrea murmured.

 

 

Jane found Scissor Wizard and found that it was a hair salon. ‘Of course,’ she thought.

 

“You got here in time,” one of the hairdressers said.

 

“I've got this coupon,” Jane responded. “But I just wanted a pair of scissors,” she added as the hairdresser lead her to a chair.

 

“We don't sell scissors, we cut hair,” the hairdresser pointed out. “What show?”

 

“What?” Jane asked in confusion.

 

“Which TV show do you want your style from? Most of our clients go for a sitcom. Although, you're more the ‘movie of the week’ type. I have a TV Guide if you want to browse.”

 

“Have you ever seen Sick Sad World?”

 

“No.”

 

“Too bad,” Jane said.

 

“Any other shows?”

 

“None that are considered mainstream.”

 

The hairdresser sighed, then said. “Listen, maybe you should come another time. My next appointment is here.”

 

“What about my coupon?” Jane asked.

 

“I’ll buy it off you.”

 

“Sure.”

 

 

Daria and Andrea found the Doo Dad shop and saw Kevin and Brittany come out of the store. “You can tell her yourself!” Andrea said.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Did you see the cute little thingy with the cute thingy?” Brittany asked Kevin.

 

“I got it for you, Babe.”

 

“Oh, Kev, this is the first cute thingy that you've bought me since...” she realised something. “Wait, you didn’t steal this, did you?”

 

“It was Shrinkage, Babe.”

 

Daria waited while Kevin was dragged back into the store by his girlfriend.

 

 

“Daria?” Brittany asked after she emerged from the Doo Dad shop a second time. She could see Andrea in the distance looking at a different shop.

 

“I wanted to say that I’ve found another way home, so I won’t endure carsickness on the bus,” Daria said.

 

“Oh! Who is it?”

 

“My sister and her friends.”

 

 

After Brittany and Kevin had gone off, Daria and Andrea entered the Doo Dad Shop.

 

Suddenly, the staff surrounded Andrea. “When your feeling bad or mad or sad, buy a doo dad! You'll feel glad! It's not too sad, to buy a doo dad, today!”

 

“What are you doing to me?” Andrea asked.

 

“You're our lucky ten-thousandth customer. All these doo dads are yours for free!” the store manager said as he placed a pile of Doo Dads in her arms.

 

“I don’t want this stuff!” Andrea protested.

 

“Neither do I.” Daria said. She made herself scarce.

 

Andrea dumped the load of Doo Dads on the Manager’s feet and ran out of the store before they could take a photograph.

 

 

Glen Oaks Lane, Lawndale; 4:21 PM

The car driven by the hapless boy the Fashion Club had recruited pulled into the Morgendorffers’ driveway.

 

Daria and Andrea got out first, followed by Quinn, who took the stuff she had bought out of the trunk. “Thanks Guy,” she said.

 

Daria turned to Andrea as the car drove away and Quinn opened the front door. “I’ll see you around.”

 

“Same here.”